“Know your place in people’s lives and act accordingly…”
This is one of my favourite quotes.
For a long while now, I’ve been reflecting on friends and how they impact our lives. To a large extent, we think we know our friends well enough but, do we really? The people who we choose to surround us impact our lives more than we think. We believe we are best friends with someone but, is the feeling mutual? Does your best friend think you are their best friend? I am not talking about mere words here because lately, the word “bestie” seems to be at the tip of everyone’s lips. I’m talking about someone you trust, respect and share similar values with.
I was going through my BBM friends list and something caught my attention. Daisy, a good friend of mine on her status wished her best friend Lola a happy birthday. Nothing peculiar about the post; just a simple “happy birthday dear” with two emojis. One smiley face and a hug to be precise. Two days before that, Daisy wished Liz, another friend of hers a happy birthday as well but this time around, there were lots of praises about how wonderful and amazing Liz was and the emojis were endless.
There’s nothing wrong with both messages.
I know all the parties involved and I am sure (100%) that Daisy is closer to Lola than Liz. To be honest, Liz was, in fact, a work colleague. How do I know the extent of both friendships? Daisy has on several occasions gisted me about both Lola and Liz. So I was quite surprised to see the messages she used. Left to me, I would have switched the messages to properly reflect the closeness of both relationships. This is different with guys. They are not as emotional as we ladies are. A simple “HBD Bro” is enough for them but, if you notice, you can almost feel the love in that message. As simple as it is, you can tell that there is a bond. But we ladies are different and we know it. We want fireworks. We want you to put up our pictures and tell us how awesome we are.
Now, before you all howl at me (it’s Halloween here so, bear with me), I know that this is clearly none of my business but, I couldn’t help but wonder why Daisy couldn’t appreciate Lola her best friend the same way (if not more) she appreciated Liz her work colleague. If truly she has been honest about the good things she said about her close friend to me then, I expect more from her than that. I mean this is your best friend’s special day and all you can write is “happy birthday dear”. Like really? Even if you had a big fight a day before the big day I think that should have been kept aside till after the celebration. We (especially me) the spectators don’t need to know that. Well except if what she did is severe enough to end the friendship. In that case, you go girl.
Don’t look at me that way, I’m a lawyer remember and knowing other people’s problem comes with the job description. To be honest, I have seen this quite a lot and I just had to say something. Why do some people find it difficult to appreciate people who are close to them? Are they secretly trying to make the new friend their best friend or are they stylishly trying to let the supposed best friend know that they are really not best friends? If I were Lola, my auto-correct button will automatically re-evaluate our friendship and return it back to the status quo of just friends.
Appreciating people goes a long way regardless of if they are bestfiends or not. Be it just friends or in a committed relationship, we need to treat people with respect. Most people complain about how certain people in their lives have suddnely change and I wonder if they have tried to look within themselves to find out if the change occured as a result of their own behaviours or doings. My mom constantly reminds me of saying thank you to someone for the help they’ve shown every time I see them. Not only will the person be pleased that you appreciate their help but they will want to help you more. It’s the same with friendships. When we appreciate our friends the better and stronger the friendship becomes. Do not undervalue your friends.
If we could live alone in this world without friends then I wouldn’t be nosy about people’s status update because it wouldn’t matter. I probably still would but, there wouldn’t be much to talk about. Friends are fundamental in sustaining our mental stability. I’ve seen people appreciate friends more than their siblings although some siblings are just something else (story for another day).
We need to know our places in people’s lives and act accordingly. A friend who cannot openly appreciate another is not a true friend. Don’t even tell me that some people don’t like it or Lola does not like it. Pleeeeaaassseeeee.. I like it on behalf of Lola. We all love to be appreciated. It strengthens bonds. The next time you see your best friend, give her a big hug, Chanel purse and tell her how awesome she is. She deserves it.