This post is not necessarily about business or entrepreneurship but, life in general. There comes a point in life when your plans are not forthcoming. The way we want our life to be is nothing but a far stretched dream. As a child, we dreamt of being successful, living in a mansion, married with beautiful kids with probably a private jet parked at our backyards. I don’t know about you but I did. We never for once thought we would struggle to make money. We thought we only had to work hard. I’m sure our definition of working hard was nothing compared what we are facing now.
For me, my first job was at a bank. I got it without blinking and people wondered how I did it. From then onwards, I thought life would be great and I was one step forward in owning my own private jet. I remember my favourite TV show was Celebrity Cribs on MTV. Boy, I would fantasise all day about how massive my future home would be with puppies running everywhere. When I turned 26, I left the bank due to it been acquired and reality hit me on the head with a sledgehammer.
The word struggle was an understatement. You know when you just have to take a sit and ponder on your life wondering what you did wrong, who you offended or what exact sin(s) you committed that made Karma so mad.
We see other people making it with them putting little or no effort and we wonder why the world just hates us. They have the perfect job, marriage, kids and beautiful homes. We start to compare ourselves. To be better, we start watching TV shows on “how to make our lives better“, listen to motivational podcasts or read books. All these just to be successful.
The one rule I try to live by is never to wish for another man’s blessings. We see a successful individual and we subconsciously start to wish we had all or a quarter of their wealth. What most of us don’t understand is that we might not be able to walk a mile in those people’s shoes. We don’t know the root of their wealth. It just might be good or bad. Their struggles to get to where they are might kill us in a heartbeat. The sacrifices they’ve made might be incomprehensible. You just don’t know.
Instead of worrying about what might or could be, try focusing on what you can do to better yourself. The problem sometimes is that we have too many dreams. We want to be a lot of things at the same time. Put aside wealth for once and be grateful for what you have. The little you have is another man’s greatest dream. If only the dead could dream.
A famous Yoruba Proverbs says; A kì í wo ago aláago ṣiṣẹ (Don’t work with someone else’s clock). Trust the timing of your life. It’s what makes YOU! My time is different from your time and just because you or society says you are not where you ought to be in life doesn’t make you LATE. The most important thing is that you get there. Yes, we are not getting any younger but it could be worse. It is better to be comfortable in life than chasing riches.
Separate yourself from failure. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something (yet) doesn’t mean you are a failure. Personalising failure can inflict destruction on your confidence and self-esteem. Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome. If for anything, it will intensify the outcome, trapping you emotionally from moving on. Most often, our fear of failure is fixed in our fear of being judged. We easily get influenced by what people say about us.
You cannot change the past, but you can shape your future. If the people that surround you are making it, why not talk to them to find out how. Pick the advice that matches your personality (don’t do anything stupid) and take a positive step forward. The quicker you leave these incapacitating thoughts behind, the better your life will be henceforth. Remember, this is YOUR LIFE.
I love how you turn the struggles into positives. My favorite is instead of focusing on what could have been , focus on what can be. Great post!
Thank you so much Norine
Obsessing over failure will not change the outcome!
Great post. 👍🏽
Thank you Chris
I love your honesty and forthrightness about the ups and downs of life. Turning negatives into positives will get you everywhere!!
Beth || http://www.TheStyleBouquet.com
Thank you so much Beth..
So true! Fantastic post! It’s hard when you feel like life isn’t going as planned as you said though you can’t change the past but you can shape your future. (And now I’m picturing the scene with Rafiki and Simba in the Lion King lol) 🙂
Thank you so much Bobbi, I’m sure at some point while writing this post I also had Rafiki and Simba in mind..😂
I always try to think about something that is going great in my life instead of focusing on the negative. Though sometimes that negatives pile up!
Thank you Katie
I was in this space a few months ago. It felt like things weren’t coming together and then after persevering and making some strides towards my goals, things began flowing my way. It’s been a fun ride the last few months seeing the things I hoped and prayed for come to fruition.
Thank you Saidah
What an incredible post this is <3 I really loved reading this and you're absolutely right–we should never wish for another man's fate (and I've never heard that proverb before; it's so fitting). I think that tv shows and movies really create a false sense of happiness… that in order to find our life's calling, we need to be wealthy and surround ourselves with expensive things (also shout out to you for MTV Cribs reference… I used to watch that too, lol!).
I think to be truly successful, happiness comes first. And we can't rely on OTHER things to provide US with that. Anyway, thank you for sharing this wonderful thought-provoking post <3 SO glad I saw it in the Blog Loft FB Group 🙂
Thank you Charlotte for you comment. Yes , TV and what we read does sometimes create a false image of the reality of things. Like I always tell my friends, your happiness should be a priority.
Love this! So inspirational and something I can relate to with where I’m at in life right now. I’d never heard of the phrase “Don’t work with someone else’s clock.” I’m glad you shared it though because it resonated with me!
Thank you Caitlyn
Unfortunately it is very easy to personalize failure. I would love to say that I’ve never done it but when things start going bad it makes it very easy. It definitely prevents you from moving forward.
Never wish for another man’s blessings is a great statement. We don’t wish for their problems so it makes sense!
Lovely post 🙂 And I agree that we can’t never changed the past.. but we can create and tailor fit our own future. And also, I don’t believe in destiny… destiny are for lazy ones.. never wait for your future. work it!
Thank you Blair
Too many dreams..Too many ambitions. You may be right on this one. I’ve been having very similar thoughts lately, this was really fun to read. Thanks for sharing!
I needed to see this . I recalled dating a guy we talked about past dreams my kid goal was to get a criminal justice degree and be a MP in the AirForce . I got married and got the degree watched im in a job kow i hate and he was trying to talking me into being a state trooper and actually stopped speaking to me because I didn’t want to put my application in. Lol it’s my life i had to realize that and i will live it to the best I can .
Thank you Kay, all we need is to do what makes us comfortable and happy.
At times it feels that in this century it just gets more and more difficult to make things happen the way you need and want them because of the amount of people. Most people are millennials in this world and most have similar aims and that kind of collides. Of course there are even more things to consider for this topic. That’s what I think. Thanks for your read I enjoyed it.
Thanks for the inspiration this morning! Exactly what I needed to hear as I make this new transition 🙂
Thank you Divya..
I love that quote “Don’t work with someone elses clock”! Brilliant! We ride the ups and downs to reach our goals!
I LOVE THIS, i also like the yoruba phrase, I’m nigerian lol but its so true, we do not know the root of their wealth and we may not even be able to walk a mile in their shoes.
Failures are inevitable in everybody ‘s life. Instead of looking at it as ‘why we didn’t succeed, we need to learn from it &move on. Great article.
Check out my blog, I too write about failures, getting stuck etch.
This is so true! I always try to focus on how I can do better. And learn. I’m always learning.
Ohhhh Jzzzzz…. It happens all the time. Guess I just try to get the best out of things. Also got a job in a bank as easy as peeling a potato. Was there for 7 years and was fired after a disagreement with my boss. Thought it would be easy to find a new job, but I never did. It’s 13 years ago and I guess I’m working as an entrepreneur now. Wasn’t intended but we have to make some money…
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