Unlikely Friends – My PhD and I

My Phd Life; Should We Breakup

This weekend, I was listening to Pastor K. preaching about ‘breakups’. He spoke about how people who are being dumped for whatever reason(s) should not cry or beg the other person to come back but walk away with the little dignity they have left. He said, “once they tell you the reason(s), don’t bother changing their minds because they broke up with you mentally months prior.” He said breakups don’t happen in a day, it takes months of strategic and mental thinking. That, I agree. There is a lot of thought process when it comes to breakups.

So where am I going with this you ask?

Well, thank you for asking.

Like most people, I was deeply engrossed in the discussion but for a different reason. All I could think about was how this relates to PhD. I realised that I had mentally broken up with my PhD. I’m talking about 916 days relationship.

Hmm… How did I get here?

You see, I have been schooling for 5 years now (including my two Masters) and I am tired. Although, I still want to save the world (Nigeria to be precise) with my 0.00000000000001% of knowledge but, I’m not mentally present anymore. The sad part is that I can’t stop picturing myself on that stage holding my Doctorate Degree and for mummy to call me “Dr Buky.”

My Phd Life; Should We Breakup

Truth be told, I’ve always wanted to be a Doctor, a vet actually. But my lack of basic understanding of chemistry, maths and physics didn’t help so I ended up being a lawyer. However, the real motivation for my PhD was to secretly compete with my older sis who is an actual doctor.

You can’t have it all sis!

Things are changing and I don’t like them. My routine is basically non-existing. I used to love reading novels but not, they all look like journals/textbooks to me. Sometimes I find myself analysing the first paragraph of a novel instead of just enjoying it. Even my 4-year-old niece’s colouring book looks like a badly written biology textbook that needs corrections.

My family and friends keep saying they are proud of me and wish they could do the same but I am the envious one. I wish I could go out and have fun and not constantly think of the next chapter. Even blogging feels weird. Many times I wake up and ponder if this PhD is worth it. I sometimes ask myself in the mornings:

  • Do I really need this PhD to survive?
  • Can it wash the dishes piling up?
  • Can it make it me taller?

These are serious life issues you know. My mind is a battlefield.

I used to be able to watch movies for hours but now, I can’t get past 10 mins. I am gradually becoming a boring introvert. I was a happy, funny introvert trust me. I used to enjoy my own little bubble. But now, it feels like my bubble is shrinking with a touch of Mona Lisa background.

It’s like constantly having a bad hair day.

Don’t get me wrong, the skills I have learned so far from researching are amazing. I can scan through journals easily and decide if it’s useful or not. Doing a PhD has also opened my mind to endless possibilities. Now I am able to win some pointless arguments better. Instead of me calling people out on their BS comments, I just ask for references. I’ve noticed that people tend to shut up when you ask for references. Trust me, my unnecessary arguments sounds posh with a hint of geekiness.

You say “A” and I say “F raised to power W = Ha Ha!”. Can you beat that?  

But frankly, I’m tired.



  1. Oludayo
    13/04/2020 / 10:18 AM

    There’s always a silver lining in every situation. Keep preserving.

    Best regards.

  2. Oludayo
    13/04/2020 / 10:19 AM

    Persevering **

  3. Dada Abiola
    13/04/2020 / 11:11 AM

    Thanks for sharing this.
    I have always known I didn’t have the vibe for PhD but the opportunity it provides in terms of funding entices me. Luckily for me, I got rejection for my PhD application.
    I think I should just stick to getting my Msc.
    You are a strong woman and I know you would pull through getting your PhD.
    Thank you and I look forward to reading more of your post.

  4. Elizabeth Paul
    13/04/2020 / 12:31 PM

    Awww my friend, i can imagin how you feel considering what we went through in our masters pursuit, but whatever is your decision, is working for your good and will turn out a testimony

  5. 05/11/2023 / 1:23 PM

    I very happy to find this internet site on bing, just what I was searching for : D besides saved to favorites.

  6. 05/12/2023 / 11:01 PM

    Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your weblog. You have some really good articles and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested. Regards!

  7. 17/12/2023 / 8:22 AM

    I’m impressed, I need to say. Really not often do I encounter a blog that’s each educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you could have hit the nail on the head. Your thought is outstanding; the difficulty is something that not sufficient individuals are speaking intelligently about. I’m very completely satisfied that I stumbled throughout this in my search for one thing relating to this.

  8. 04/02/2024 / 1:18 AM

    You have a knack for uncovering and sharing hidden gems of knowledge.

  9. 09/02/2024 / 8:01 PM

    Hi, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, fantastic blog!

  10. 17/02/2024 / 3:18 AM

    I’m So Glad I Stumbled Upon This Article. It Was Exactly What I Needed To Read!

  11. 18/02/2024 / 10:34 PM

    Your blog is a true reflection of your passion and expertise. Asheville is lucky to have you!

  12. 18/02/2024 / 11:10 PM

    Your blog is a sanctuary of wisdom and inspiration. We’re grateful readers from Asheville!

  13. 19/02/2024 / 4:04 AM

    Your writing always inspires and educates. Thank you for the effort you put into your blog. Asheville sends its love!

  14. 19/02/2024 / 12:53 PM

    Your writing has a way of drawing readers in and keeping them engaged till the very end. Asheville appreciates your talent!

  15. 20/02/2024 / 1:00 AM

    Your blog is a true testament to your passion and dedication. We’re proud supporters from Asheville!

  16. 22/02/2024 / 1:29 AM

    Your writing is like a beacon of light in the darkness, guiding us towards knowledge and understanding. Asheville appreciates your blog!

  17. 23/02/2024 / 2:31 AM

    Your writing is like a breath of fresh air, invigorating and rejuvenating. We’re proud followers from Asheville!

  18. 23/02/2024 / 9:29 PM

    Just wanted to express my gratitude for your wonderful blog. Keep up the fantastic work! Asheville loves it.

  19. 25/02/2024 / 8:57 PM

    Your blog is a must-read for anyone seeking inspiration and knowledge. Asheville is lucky to have you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *